How do I say “no” to a second date without being mean?

How to say no

The following post is a selection from my book Courtship in Crisis. If we can get this right as a community, it will make Traditional Dating a lot easier for everyone. Thomas, I want on a date with J and while we had a good time, I don’t think we’re a good fit. Don’t get […]

The Courtship Prosperity Gospel

Rear view of businessman with luggage walking towards corporate jet

A few days ago I received a Facebook message from a homeschool mother who was very angry about my book, Courtship in Crisis, which she had not read. The message came to me while I was feeling low, so I did something I don’t normally do to people who send me angry Facebook messages. I responded.

Help End the Courtship Crisis: Buy a Copy Today


A year ago today I wrote a blog post titled Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed. I hoped to reach 10,000 people. It ended up reaching over 1,000,000 people, led to a successful Kickstarter campaign, and the book Courtship in Crisis which came out just over a week ago. You never know what small thing will change […]

The 4000 Year History of Courtship – From Bride Prices to Bundling Beds


Many conservatives think, “back in the day, people were more holy.” But the Scriptures paint a different story. Solomon tells us, “History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). According to Paul, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience” […]

Dear Graduate – Advice I Wish I Received After High School 


In the last couple of weeks, several high school graduates have asked me for advice about college. They are facing their first life-changing decision and are rightfully concerned about making good choices. So, here are all the things I wish someone had told me after I graduated high school. Feel free to share this with […]

Is Thomas Umstattd Jr. Married?


Last year I wrote a blog post titled Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed. In that post, I explained how I went from a courtship advocate running to no longer believing that Modern Courtship is a viable model for most people. The post went viral. I hoped to reach ten or twenty thousand people. The post […]

Friendzones, Bromances, and Why You Shouldn’t Marry Your Best Friend


The English language has a problem. We only have one word for “love”. You could say “I love my son. I love pizza. I love my Country. I love my wife. I love God. God loves me.” Each of these sentences are grammatically valid uses of the word “love” and yet convey entirely different concepts. This confusion of language can become a confusion of thought for English speakers.

Kissing, Sex, and Jesus-Flavored Bubblegum


I remember sitting in the back of a basketball gym, listening to the guest preacher rail against the evil and power of sin. He told us that if we lost our purity, we were like tape that had lost its stickiness or gum that had lost its flavor. He didn’t give us a rose to pass from person to person, but he…