Why is lying wrong? Because it hurts people or because God said not to do it?
Here are seven reasons why I think sarcasm is unhealthy and wrong. I would love to hear what you think by leaving a comment .
1. Sarcasm is a lie and not the language of the Kingdom.
When I make a sarcastic comment I lie, assuming my listener knows my words to be untrue. What a trick of the devil to put lies in the mouths of Christians! It is only when we are honest with ourselves and with others that we can speak the language of the Kingdom. If we cannot speak the language of the Kingdom, how can we expect to live at peace with its residents?
Who speaks lies as his native language? Hint: not Jesus.
Lies are the language of Satan. “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44
2. Sarcasm fosters insecurity.
Sarcasm often comes either out of a place of insecurity or into a place of insecurity. Think of it like a bank, people deposit their insecurities into sarcasm and then get them back with interest.
3. Sarcasm interferes with authentic community.
The things we say sarcastically are often things we are unable to say seriously but still feel. True intimacy and community are hard to find because of this. It can often be a challenge to sort out the truth from lies when a sarcastic person speaks. The people making sarcastic comments sometimes are unsure of the truth themselves.
Buried within many sarcastic comments hides a small nugget of truth. Sometimes people say what they feel sarcastically so they can’t be held responsible for their true feelings. Their sarcasm allows them to maintain their mask of hypocrisy. This hinders both communication and authentic community.
4. Sarcasm discourages inquisitiveness.
In my experience sarcasm is often used to deride people for asking simple questions. It causes some people to be cautious to talk at all, particularly to strangers. I ask simple questions. When I reveal my ignorance on a topic I often must brace for the sarcastic blow that may or may not fall. My confidence is in Christ and not myself so these comments do not destroy me but are nevertheless unappreciated. I think we would all learn a lot more if we were a lot less sarcastic.
5. Sarcasm interferes with good leadership.
Secure people make good leaders. If sarcasm is a symptom of insecurity then the better a leader you are the less sarcastic you will be. Can you Imagen Moses, Jesus or William Wilberforce being sarcastic? Sarcasm is like a false save that temporarily numbs our pain of our insecurities but ultimately makes the root problem worse. One of the things I admire about John Moore, our college pastor, is how authentic he is. John is a speaker of the truth and I appreciate that.
The false save of sarcasm keeps dells our pain and keeps us from taking our insecurities to Christ. Sarcasm hinders communication and undermines trust. Vital elements of good leadership.
6. Sarcasm undermines true humor.
Some people are naturally funny. They put those around them at ease by finding the lighter side of life. Others, myself included, try to compensate for their lack of humor through sarcasm. Yet sarcastic “jokes” are rarely funny and they rarely put people at ease.
Sarcastic remarks are easy to make and keep us from cracking jokes that are actually funny. How many times have you ever belly laughed to a sarcastic comment? The best you can hope for from sarcasm is snicker.
7. Sarcasm is the language of bullies.
Sarcasm can be used as a way to attack other people without given them a chance to respond. It is like a kid with a bat in one hand and a trash can lid in the other. When he says a biting sarcastic comment (bat) he defends himself (lid) by saying he was only joking. He can then take a second swing with the bat by accusing the listener of having no sense of humor.
The only way the other children could play with such a bully is if they too get bats and lids. This is how sarcasm like a virus infects a community.
Do you ever remember coming home from school crying because a bully said something mean. What did he tell the teacher? “I was only joking.” I contend that sarcasm is still a subtle form of bullying, regardless of age.
Conclusion
There is a difference between sarcasm and hyperbole. Hyperbole is the contrasting of extremes to make a point. So when God tells Job to tell him how the world was formed since “Job was there” God is using hyperbole to emphasize the fact that Job was not there and does not know. While like sarcasm hyperbole is different in the fact that it makes the truth clear instead of cloudy.
Do I make sarcastic remarks? Yes. In my insecurity I still speak lies instead of truth. But it bothers me. My conscience bugs me about it though and I try to apologize. I am a poor standard. But I ask that you keep me accountable to only speak the truth from now on.
Do you agree/disagree? Leave a comment and let me know what you think .
Thank you so much for this Tom. I have always suffered through life because sarcasm is nonsense to me. I didnt understand it until fully until my latter 20’s. Even now, I still often mistake it for real truth. I to believe that it hinders personal connections. Sarcasm is the mask people use to hide the coldness in their hearts. Oh what irony that those who use sarcasm incessantly think themselves witty, and those who choose to speak in truth are found ignorant. I often wonder if my friendships have never matured because I often neglected this over use of sarcasm that is so rampant in our society. However, I refuse to give into it.
Isa 5:20 KJV Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter
I despise sarcasm! I’ve come to realize that it’s a “socially acceptable” way of saying something unkind or hurtful, nearly always at some else’s expense.
I am doing a study with a couple friends regarding sins of the tongue. I know that the topic of sarcasm will be addressed. I came upon your post when doing a little more research on the topic. Thank you for your insights.
Jerry Bridges in his book “Respectable Sins” states, “Sinful speech includes harsh words, sarcasm, insults, and ridicule. The common denominator of all these forms of negative speech is that they tend to put down, humiliate, or hurt the other person.”
We need to be very careful with our speech. We need to examine our motives. Before we say anything sarcastic, let us ask ourselves if what we are about to say will put down, humiliate or hurt another. This will help us determine our motive if it should be said or not. Most likely…NOT.
Also in regards to Eph 4:29. Jerry Bridges also states: “We should ask ourselves, ‘Will what I am about to say tend to tear down or build up the person I’m about to talk about?'”
Will someone be the first to make a rational distinction between Christianity and voodoo?
You are correct. Sarcasm is destructive,.. to the one that uses it and the ones that hears it. Many years ago,.. I heard a sermon on the subject of Sarcasm and Mocking. It was deeply convicting and the Lord used it to change my heart and tongue. It took a long time, as I had quit a sharp and sarcastic tongue,.. the Lord had to change my thinking first,.. and He used all the verses you and your readers have listed,.. and for me,.. as a women, Proverbs 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Lets face it,.. there is no way sarcasm can be considered “Kindness” or Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace,(A),.. sarcasm certainly isn’t gracious. Your article is right on track and I pray it blesses and edifies and convicts hearts as the Lord leads.
I loved your article. Much thanks again.
Awesome blog post.Thanks Again.
I’m not sure I agree completely. I actually think there was a fair amount of sarcasm in many of Jesus’s exchanges with the pharisees… But I spouse that could be me reading into it.
Wow… I agree! Though rather painfully… π Sarcasm definitely being something I have a tendency use rather often, and something I have been known to struggle with as far as when and what is good or appropriate… I have been writing and thinking on it quite a lot… These last few weeks especially, This post and everyone’s contemplative responses and perspectives, wow, couldn’t have been more perfect timing π
I apologize ahead of time for my ramblings… π
Words are so powerful…
If you’re not going to say something spirit building…
Don Miguel Ruiz the famous author of the Four Agreements calls it… Be Impeccable with your words.
What he means is never to inflict pain on anyone with your words. That’s because whether positive or negative they are powerful.
Words make or break a young child’s spirit. Words break hearts. Words leave scars that hurt a lifetime.
But it seems, because people insult one another so often, that we are impermeable to “put downs”. Not true. The child inside of us still gets damaged when somebody cuts us down. Some people will carry the baggage of insults with them to their grave. Families have been destroyed by what seemed like a little joke.
There is a clichΓ© that older people use. They use it because it is wisdom. They say… “If you’re not going to say something good about someone, then don’t say anything at all.” It’s not cool to not insult. it’s sort of like an “in” thing. But insulting is like stealing life from somebody.
Take Don Miguel Ruiz’s shamanic advice and build people’s spirit with your words. If a put down session is already taking place and somebody you know is the one who is being ground down to mince meat, don’t participate. Don’t add your two cents worth of insults. If you do participate, your “so-called” friends will expect you to be mean-spirited and they will eventually fear that mean spirit that lives and grows within you.
Sitting here ensconced in my thoughts… This is rather a kick in the head, to myself!..
But it is the truth π Thinking about Philippians 4 — Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy – let’s think about those things, and how that influences the way we tease/joke.
If I just shut my mouth and think, “Is this a necessary/uplifting comment?” before I say it, I save myself a LOT of apologizing/explaining later. And more importantly, I don’t wound anyone!!
And yes, there are times that the answer has been no to that question, but I’ve said it anyway, much to my chagrin…
And I freely admit that I can be a total imbecile at times, or maybe my brain just takes a siesta… π
Good judgment comes with experience.
Most of the time, unfortunately but sadly the way it is, we gain experience from bad judgment. :-/
I acknowledge that trial and error is not always pleasant, nevertheless, it is still beneficial in improving our character and constantly learning and bettering ourselves π
Wonderful post! Thank you!
And I didn’t know you had a blog! Loving how straightforward you are, tis very refreshing π
ALWAYS learning :)- Me
Sarcasm has single handedly wiped out entire planets of people – the Deathstar of words.
I am being sarcastic.
To state that sarcasm is a sin is to overlook a world of common sense, condemning many of God’s loved ones. To say that sarcasm is always a lie is like saying, “Walnuts are bitter and hurt when you eat them. They make you bleed.”
“Um … are you … um, eating the whole thing? No wonder. Here, let me show you how to eat a walnut. If you take off the shell first, its actually quite tasty. Especially roasted and salted. Here, try one.”
Of course, some people still don’t like walnuts but does that make them inherently evil? I’m gonna have to say no. And just because you don’t find sarcasm funny does not mean that it is definitively not. I find it very hilarious … even when direct at me. Which bring me to the insecurity bit.
I just cannot bring myself to believe that sound waves from someone’s mouth in the form of sarcasm is the root cause of someone’s insecurity. If sarcasm triggers insecurity, it is because they were already made insecure by or about something a bit more substantial in their life way before the construction of the world-shattering laser beam of sarcasm. Now, we should totally be sensitive to people and how they might be effected by our words, but SIN and LIES? Come on now.
So you wake up one morning after going to bed right after a shower and your hair looks like an Einstein / Snuffaluffagus genetic mutation. So your spouse says, “Wow, honey … you’re lookin’ good. I better go get ready for the ball too.”
Do you get offended because your spouse lied to you? Because the truth is, you aren’t going to a ball and you know that you are not looking your best right now. No. It was funny. Playful. If you do get hurt by the humor, there may be some deeper issues at work and you might consider professional counseling.
My point is this: it is relative. Life is not so black and white. The maliciousness of sarcasm is directly contingent on the instigator’s intentions. Is it really a lie if both parties know that they both know it to be not true? Isn’t a lie the intentional act of deception? Did you really have the intention to make your spouse believe there was a ball to go to?
Nope.
Just breathe people. The Deathstar isn’t out to get you because there isn’t one. But If you do find yourself being attacked, the best defense is to laugh at it. It steals the power right out of the malice.
The \”sarcasm\” used in the Bible, in every instance, makes the truth more clear. This is completely oposite of the kind of \”sarcasm\” used today. You cannot defend truth obscuring sarcasm by the Bible\’s use of truth illuminating \”sarcasm.\”
We had discussion last night in study, Conversation Peace, Transformed Speech. This lends us to more knowledge and application in our lives. I love all the comments
I think honestly, it’s all in the context right? I’ve laughed with my friends at lighthearted sarcasm that, as I recall, was not at the expense of anyone (maybe myself, though like I said its my sense of humor so I find it funny). Anyway when I think of real crulity I think of the people closest to me who just threw their daggers… No sarcasm, just strait to the point. I’ve been devestated by strait talk and I’ve shared genuine fellowship with believers with lighthearted sarcasm involved. So I would say its really too general a topic to make a blanket statement. The Bible leaves out specifics sometimes because the Spirit will convict you on grounds of your own sins and past experiences. Since the Bible never says anything specifically about sarcasm (or a similar language device of their day) I would say its not completely safe to say it’s evil in and of itself.
I’ve been hurt by strait comments and laughed at sarcastic ones. It’s all in the spirit from which you are speaking. If it was a sin, God does well to state it explicitly in His word. The Spirit convicts us according to our own struggles and experiences, but if it’s not stated as a sin, I’d say it’s too far a leap to say it’s “the language of satan.” But I’ve heard this a few times before.
“Its just a joke” or “you don’t get it, it was just a joke” or “the writer of this article cannot handle sarcasm” is a typical defensivemechanism of sarcasm (its actually a double sarcasm). I think everbody can see the paradox of this one.
The writer is talking about sarcasm, negativeness directed to people/persons, as a habit. As you know, habits can become destructive.
Sarcasm is like smoking, its easy to do, but hard to get rid of.
In theory, sarcasm can also be non-personal/fictional oriented, but thats in very rare situations.
Laughing in a group is a social convention, but it does not mean everybody likes the joke, its a way to empower the collective feeling with polite behaviour.
An overly sarcastic person confuses social laughs and/or a polite smile with approval/encouraging his behaviour (they dont realize it might be an polite reaction to a bad joke).
At some point, sarcasm can even be directed to people who only showed love, and respect to the sarcastic person.
Again, sarcasm is like smoking, its easy to do, but hard to get rid of.
Scientists (just google) also discovered children can already understand sarcasm when they are 6 years old. Now..wouldnt bullying have something to do with this?
So..in the end, if you have the choice between making sarcastic jokes (which might be harmfull to certain people) and uplifting jokes (raising other people)..what would you choose?
Great topic, and I believe best understood by the spiritually mature- and this is one goal of our faith, that we are continually transformed into the likeness of Christ! Thanks for sharing this and to all that contributed…this has come up in many conversations lately- and interestingly, it comes up among those that are most sarcastic (myself included)…Spirit convicting me? I think yes!
This is good stuff Thomas!!! Thank you for having the courage to print it. You are exposing something that is very popular but very wrong. I have always been uncomfortable with it, though I have gotten better at it over the years, myself, sadly, kind of in self-defense. I must really pray that God shines his light on this area of my life, and purifies. The church cannot expect to be empowered when we sin in clever little ways. God is love but He is also holy; we must be holy. His love is holy. Purity is what empowers the church to be victorious in Christ against the devil. Not until the church is purified will we be able to make a huge dent in the works of darkness in this country and world, and THEN RESCUE many on the wide and dangerous path. Thank you again for making a very good point!
Sarcasm these days is creepy and more often offensive rather than meaningful.
@ThomsUmstattd
Exactly!